Fitting in isn’t something I’ve ever been able to grasp or even pull off in my 35 years of life. Not only have I been an outcast, I have always felt like one. No matter what church I went to or how loving the members of that particular church were. Whenever I shared my interactions with God people either gave me a distant look, a pat on the shoulder or a smile of doubt. I believe we can’t always understand what another person experiences with God personally, but I do believe we should encourage them.

I’m not bitter that I don’t fit in. I am angry I want to fit in at all. It seems as if I isolate myself, but the truth is I don’t want to be left out or make others feel uncomfortable. I never brag about my encounters with God. I brag about HIM. About how awesome HE is. I am writing this for whatever purpose God has for it. I don’t know what that could be.

I have believing friends and family, but I also have unsaved friends and family. I spend time with both and maybe I don’t spend enough time, but God is good and continues to provide me with time for them.

To be honest, the only places I feel I fit in are imaginary. I love t.v. shows like Star Trek, Power Rangers, Matlock, NCIS and the Penguins of Madagascar. If you know any of the titles I listed maybe you already see the connection. Teamwork. Teams. These people belong where they are. They have built friendships and deep ones that allow them to “fit” in somewhere. They depend on each other and deeply. Their abilities or gifts allow them to fit in where they are.

I encourage anyone else that is feeling like this to pray and seek godly wisdom. Pray to God until you are all prayed out. Whatever it takes to either overcome or accept this feeling of being on the outside looking in. Of being an outcast. We belong to the family of God and quite honestly that is just the foundation. It is not enough as some people would try to tell you. Only God HIMSELF is enough. I am only filled by Him and Him alone. The family of God is there to keep us from even considering we are outcasts or alone. Being a part of the CRM team has given me a place to fit in, but only God can fill me and keep me from believing I am an outcast.

Belinda
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Fitting In