Over the past month we have talked some about knowing your story to understanding your relationships. Perhaps you haven’t thought much about why you are the way you are or about the events that shaped you during your formative years.

It could be that for a long time you have told yourself that you are ok, are unaffected by the past, but now you are beginning to think about it.

We must be realistic. Not one of us has a perfect life. As children, we were all impacted by sin. There was sin in our families, sin in our communities and sin within our own hearts. Sin causes pain. Considering the past will hurt. But if you have never been healed from the scars of the past you can’t move forward into the future – these are still affecting you.

Knowing our story involves recognizing the truth of what was. Share on XSometimes the ugliness of what happened is glossed over because no one wants to see it for what it was. As children, we think of our parents as better than life, since living with them in our family is our continual reality it is hard to recognize what is healthy and what is not.

What was your childhood like? How did your parents interact? Dysfunction could be communication through manipulation, yelling, keeping the peace, inability to be fully present, codependency on the previous generation, lack of taking responsibility. Also, it could involve levels of abuse.

Whatever it is we want to work through what is healthy and what is not.

Allowing our past to go unfiltered cultivates an endless barrage of negative thinking because as children any unhealthiness or abuse cause us to automatically form thoughts and opinions of ourselves which we live out of for the rest of our lives if they do not go unchecked. That is why we want to overcome negative thinking.

When you begin to look at the past and pinpoint some areas in which your upbringing wasn’t the best you may feel like a traitor for no longer seeing your family as perfect. Especially within the Christian circles we are taught to respect our parents, but we respect does not mean we think they were perfect. Respect means we don’t slander them, we speak kindly but in love, we extend grace for the areas in which they were not perfect, but by no means should we believe that they were perfect. Our parents are impacted by Adam and Eve’s sin as much as we are.

In my study of generational patterns, I thought back to the book of 2 Kings. There were many kings who did evil and did not follow God but there were some who changed their ways. Look at 2 Kings 21:19-26. Amon became king, he was wicked and he followed the wickedness of his father Manasseh. But then in chapter 22 Josiah becomes king. He was the tender age of 8 years old. Verse 2 says that he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. During his reign, he had the book of the law read to him and set his heart to follow God’s ways. Josiah didn’t live in the shadow of what was unhealthy (all wickedness brings unhealthy emotional issues, thoughts and mindsets because it does not involve renewing the mind according to God’s truth.) Josiah had the courage to change and he made a difference in his generation. In the same way, we can have the courage to change. It might not be that we had the deep wickedness of Amon and Manasseh in our family heritage but whatever it is with God we can change the pattern on our family.

Life Coach Moment:

  • Think about your childhood. In are some things in your family that you would like to pass on to your children?
  • What are some unhealthy things that happened as a child? (Think about whether you felt loved, safe and ok – why did you feel this way?)

Forgive if you still have resentment or bitterness is any area. Don’t let these issues be buried again. Work through your thoughts to become a healthier individual. ‘If you have never thought about your past before doing so now will cause pain. You may feel like you are opening a wound. But if you never dealt with the past the wound was only scabbed over anyway so you will feel worse before you feel better. Keep the goal in mind.

 

Renew Your Mind in Truth

 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19

We have the choice to continue in the patterns of the previous generation or we can step back, observe and use wisdom about what part of our past we want to take into the future. The choice is yours. Choose life and pass it on to your children.

Prayer

Thank you Lord for helping me to see the pain of my past. I need your love to pour on my heart to heal me. I want to become a healthier individual so that I can pass on a legacy to my children. Show me things from my childhood that I should not be carrying into my future. I desire to respect my family and parents but I also want to extend Your grace to them, knowing that they were not perfect. Amen.

Naomi
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Know Your Story: Renewing Your Mind in Truth
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