John 11:35
Jesus wept.
A lot of different thoughts are attributed to that powerful verse and I am about to share mine, but first I must explain what happened today.
I started with my Bible study this morning and it was based on rejoicing because this is the day the Lord hath made. I prayed that over my life on my knees this morning after my study. I asked God to just be with me and take care of me. To protect me from the devil’s plans against me and to dump them back on his own head. I stepped out the front door of my house and fell, hard. I have a high tolerance for pain, but today I suffered quietly. It hurt a lot, though. Then a project I was working on at my job I found out I was doing “too much” and so now I’ve got to start all over. I felt so stupid and I have been letting this project overwhelm me. I have been taking punches for the last two weeks it feels like and about ready for a breakdown. I just kept telling myself, this is the day the Lord hath made, but it didn’t seem to stick in my head or lead me to any better of a day. So as the pain continues to run its course through most of my body, I just started to cry. I wept. Over all of it, over how much I have been giving to everyone and everything in my life. In that moment I just felt so discouraged, so run down. Like giving everything just wasn’t enough. Then I tried to tell myself to get over it. To just move on, that it’s all good. It hit me shortly after, Jesus wept.
Jesus looked around him and he saw the same thing I did. All the troubled souls around Him, discouraged and saddened by the death of their friend Lazarus. After all the miracles He had performed not one person believed that Jesus could raise Lazarus right then and there. God had come in the form of a man to show them the biggest and best He was going to give them through Jesus Christ, His son. Yet, they were not rejoicing. Jesus had been through so much already and had given of Himself everyday of His life and here was His BIG gift and not one person could see it through their discouragement and sadness. All that heaviness, all that responsibility He carried and now when He could give them something so beautiful they chose not to see past their own limited earthly vision. I believe it weighed heavily on the Savior of the world and I believe His sadness was from the disbelief of those around Him. Jesus already knew Lazarus was going to be raised from the dead so there was no need for Jesus to weep over him. Jesus wept. That much heaviness of heart can bring anyone to their emotional limit.
I take comfort in the simple fact that Jesus wept. He also had a heaviness of heart from the surrounding situations He faced. It is okay to break down, to just let it all out then move on to the gift that is Jesus. I am healing, but I still have one more good cry to get out. I am not defeated, I am exhausted and I need to reboot. God is good in all things and I don’t doubt it for a single moment, knowing tomorrow is a new day and I will rejoice in it as I have today. I choose to see the beauty even if I’m hurting or lost. God is just so loving and wonderful. I can easily be moved from my discouragement by God’s loving touch.
- The Path To Serving God - December 5, 2018
- Fitting In - November 11, 2018
- Grief. My Unique Experience. - September 21, 2018