Wondering what to say in a Sympathy card?
Do you ever wonder what to say to someone when they have lost a person close to them? I always wonder what is the message that they need to hear. There are a couple questions that run through my mind when I am sending a sympathy card.
- Was this an unexpected death?
- Are loved ones sure of the eternal destiny of the deceased?
- What kind of relationship did the card recipient have with the deceased?
Grief is a hard thing – we want to say just the right thing to eliviate a person’s pain. Even in sympathy cards it is hard to find the right one. Often I find cards that say “We are praying for you in your loss” or something like that, but it hardly seems enough to balm the loss of a loved one. Sending cards that promise the eternal hope in heaven, that the loved one is in a better place, are wonderful as long as I am sure that the deceased was saved. But if I am not sure of the salvation of the deceased I feel dishonest sending a card promising that they will see their loved one again in heaven. I don’t want to be the giver of false hope.
The best sympathy cards that I have found are from Fair Hope Notes Recently I had to send out a card to someone whose husband had passed away and I was thankful to have some on hand that had a meaningful message. It was more than just the simple saying that I was praying for them during their time of loss, but had a good message full of God’s comfort.
Sample Sympathy Card from Fair Hope Notes
Comfort Comes, Hope Abides
When our loss fills us with sorrow. when tears express our heart’s deepest feelings – God’s comfort comes.
(Dayspring - FairHopeNotes)
As I look through several of my sympathy cards I realize that most of them have meaniful saying about a loved one being in a better place. One focuses on I Corinthians 2:9 “No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.” This is a message of hope that can comfort hearts.
I love these cards because they contain heartfelt messages as well as verses of Scripture. Also they are different from generic cards you might find in the drug store card aisle. Death is an open door for us to love others. It is a time when people need to know that others care, so no matter what you write or what card you send pray and ask God for the wisdom to send what that person needs to touch their hearts and help them begin to heal.
Sometimes I think people get overwhelmed with cards during the first couple of weeks after the passing of a loved one. It might be a nice touch to follow-up your sympathy card with a “thinking of you” card several months later. The grieving process takes time. Often people are still grieving months or even years later. Those who expressed sympathy at the time of the death have moved one and forgotten that the person may still be hurting.
FairHopeNotes also writes on sympathy cards (click here)